May the Odds Be Ever In Your Favor.

I rarely play the lottery, and yet I now have two MegaMillions tickets and have jumped in the office lottery pool. I know the odds are negligible that I will win anything, and to be honest I feel like I’m in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Do I hold a golden ticket? Probably not. Do I expect to win? Absolutely not. Have I been thinking about what I would do with $500 million all day? You betcha! (Side note: If you match all 6 numbers but don’t have the multiplier right, you only win $150 for matching 4 numbers. Wah wah.)

Charlie's Golden Ticket

I'll have to hire an Uncle Joe to sing to me if I win.

That’s what is fun about playing the lottery — not the realistic hope or explanation that by 7 PM tonight I’ll be halfway to the billionaire’s club (that exists, right?), but the suspension of belief it allows you to think about what exactly you would do with that money.

Here is my list:

  • Buy a lake house and pay my parents to be its caretakers.
  • Pay off my student loan debt, then pay off the student loan debt of my siblings and siblings-in-law.
  • Set up college funds for my niece and nephew.
  • Take care of The Mister’s debt (and finish the New House, with my name added to the title!).
  • Get the Ford Edge I’ve been drooling over for the past few months.
  • Donate to some of my favorite organizations – Planned Parenthood, EMILY’s List, and Girl Scouts of the USA, just to name a few.
  • Break the piggy bank and buy the Burberry trench of my dreams! And maybe some Chanel.

That’s my initial list. All things considered, it’s not really that unreasonable. And all of this is after talking to lawyers, financial planners, and all that fun, responsible stuff, of course.

What about you? We all know you have the winning ticket, not me. What would you do with your jackpot?